Why do old habits die hard?

Why do we fall back into old habits? Why do we return to old patterns? Why do we re-run old narratives? I guess the big question is, why, when we are trying to do something new, do we often go back to old ways of thinking and behaving?

Whether we are quitting smoking, giving up drinking or starting a ‘diet’, why do we ‘fall off the wagon’, hit the bottle or give up on giving up?

Because humans are lazy! We like the path of least resistance. Why work hard when we can work easy? Perhaps we are biologically programmed to conserve that energy, lest we be chased by a sabre-toothed tiger, so we find ways to work smarter, not harder. 

The unconscious mind, a vast warehouse of processes outside of our conscious awareness, is like the software running in the background on a computer. We are not consciously aware that it is running, but it’s getting on with it, running different programmes and making sure things that are supposed to happen are happening. 

Like the internet cookies that track your activity online, these little trails of cookie crumbs also enhance your experience; they remember that you’ve been to that page before, they remember your log-in, they know what kind of trousers you like and make recommendations.

The unconscious mind works in a similar way - it says: I know you are a smoker, you identify as a smoker, you call yourself a smoker, you see yourself as a smoker and you buy and smoke cigarettes. I know that you usually smoke a cigarette with a cup of coffee in the morning and after every meal. Ooohhh… you’ve just eaten dinner, time for a cigarette. Cue craving. 

The unconscious mind ‘cookies’ are working, they’re doing their job. They are working to remind you of your thoughts and patterns and to trigger behaviours. We’ve been here before. This is what we’re supposed to do. 

Ah-ha, the unconscious mind says, there’s a Burger King. You love Burger King and you always order the Whopper with a vanilla milkshake. Cue craving. The unconscious mind doesn’t yet know that we’ve given up Whoppers! The unconscious mind hasn’t yet accepted a new routine (because it hasn’t been embedded yet) or appreciate that actually we started a new diet on Monday! The unconscious mind is prompting you to do what you’ve always done and triggering thoughts and cravings to elicit the associated behaviour. Like the internet cookies; we’ve been here before. 

When we think about behaviour change, about embedding new healthy habits, imagine the landscape of the brain with all its criss-crossing neural pathways as a large green field that you want to cross. There is an obvious path in front of you. Well-trodden, clearly defined, you can see that people have walked that path for years. It is a grass-less groove of an easy path. There are a few smaller paths too - but they’re less defined, uneven and grassy. Which path are you going to take? The wide, flat, well-worn and obvious path or the narrow and uneven one? Do you want an easy walk or a challenging walk? Most of us would choose the former, the path of least resistance. 

Now think of this in terms of trying to embed a healthy eating habit. Shall I order pizza, get a Whopper from Burger King or chuck something in the microwave (the old, well-trodden path and a web page with existing cookies) or shall I buy, prepare and eat something new that is much better for me (a new or non-existent path and a webpage with no cookies - never been here before!) and you can see why old habits really do die hard. 

The mind can’t distinguish between good and bad habits, it will just prompt you to do what you've always done. Some habits, patterns and behaviours are profoundly unhelpful and unhealthy but the mind doesn’t know that - it just knows that this is what we do. That is why sustainable habit change can be such a challenge and why it is just so much easier to fall back into old habits and re-run old narratives. 

The internet is undecided on how long it takes to change a habit - anything from 18 to 254 days apparently! But one thing is clear. Like the paths across the grassy field, neural pathways in the brain have to become established. To become an effective path - one that you can walk without breaking an ankle- they have to be walked on, trodden in, ground down. 

Habit change isn’t quick. It takes conscious awareness and consistency. In the early days of my intermittent fasting journey, I would catch myself mindlessly throwing something into my mouth or picking at the kids leftover chips. I say ‘catch myself’, because I would notice it and snap back with conscious awareness, thinking ‘hang on, we don’t do this anymore’ and quickly spit it out. That awareness and consistency is the walking of the path, to embed the new habit. 

Soon enough, by consciously showing up for yourself, you reach a point where you are no longer the smoker, the boozer or the person who binge eats Whoppers! Change is always possible, new habits are always available and you can choose which path to take.

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